Identity Crisis

     Well, it's been two weeks since I returned from England, and I think now I am finally ready to talk about the feeling of returning to my homeland.  I won't lie.  It has very much been a struggle for me to accept that I am no longer abroad and there is no telling when I will get to return.  Obviously, this has caused me to sink into a bit of a depression.  Waking up every morning to face the humidity of Missouri becomes and increasingly more difficult challenge as the days go on.  To make matters worse, my job search has not gone according to plan so I am still unemployed.  Since I am not taking online classes, I find myself with absolutely no reason to wake up in the morning or leave my room.  I'm in the same financial situation I was in in London, except at least over there I had an internship to fill my time and the entertainment of London at my fingertips.  Being poor AND bored is a very dangerous combination.

     I should mention that my life is not all depressing.  I have been so happy to be reunited with my friends.  Last Friday I went to the Marina & the Diamonds concert with a group of friends and it was so nice to just be around familiar faces that are happy to see you again.  (Also, the concert was amazing and Marina is now officially my spirit animal...for now anyways).  I've gone out to the bars in Columbia as a 21 year-old for the first time with my friends and it's just been great catching up with everyone.  Of course, after a week of meeting up with everyone, I am ready to just gather everyone up and ship ourselves off to London.  Everyone asks how it was, and all I can really say is, "It was incredible and I just want to go back." I find myself scared to be that person that can only talk about London after they spend only four months there.  I want nothing more than to fill my friends in on my wild stories and adventures (especially the ones that I can't share on here), but I fear it will make me sound pretentious.  For now, I am keeping many stories to myself. 

    My depression is also due to the avid amounts of research I have done to find ways back to the UK.  Sadly, as an American it's a lot harder than you may think.  I could marry a UK citizen, but given my dating record over the past three years, it doesn't seem likely.  Also, this doesn't automatically give me the right to work in the UK, only live there.  There are more hoops I have to jump through in order to work.  Another option is to get sponsored by an American company that has a branch in the UK.  This is my most realistic option seeing as I plan on finding a company that offers this and working my way up until they let me move to my desired branch.  My third option is to show the UK government that I have a skill that no one in the UK can provide. By doing this, you either show plans to be an entrepreneur or you show your skills to a UK company who then sponsors you to come abroad.  This is what my internship boss did when he wanted to move from Guatemala.  Seeing as I am an incredibly mediocre individual in comparison to the rest of the world, I really don't see that option happening for me.  Making sarcastic remarks about everyone inevitably dying alone isn't exactly a special skill.   

    To add to more frustration, I find myself in a bit of an identity crisis.  For starters, I can't stand the sound of my own voice.  At least when I was in London, I picked up some accent traits here and there.  I was more soft spoken and did my best to keep my accent as neutral as possible to make sure no one could make fun of it.  Now that I'm home, I feel like I am picking up a more southern accent than ever before and it drives me insane.  All my friends wanted me to come back with an English accent but now I sound more Midwestern than ever, and I absolutely loath it.  It's a shame really because this is who I am.  I was born and, minus the four years in England, raised in the Midwest.  This who I am.  Even though England was a huge part of my childhood and I cherish every moment, I wish we would have been stationed there just a few years earlier so I could have been born there.  I may not have as clear as memories but at least I would have access to dual citizenship. I've spent so little time in England compared to where I've spent the rest of my life, yet I feel like it's more apart of me than anything in the states.  The sad truth though is that, if I ever did find myself living and working in England, would I feel the same? Or would I just feel like the obnoxious American trying to be something I'm not.  That's the real challenge I guess when you want to leave your home country for somewhere else.  I still have a year of college left, but all these thoughts are already giving me anxiety.
     I remember getting to London and being so scared that everything would not live up to my expectations.  When it did, I gained even more fear and anxiety.  Now, going back is all I think about.  What I worry though is that I will go through the same stages of loneliness, wishing I could share it all with those I love.  In some regards, its like the grass is always greener on the other side.  To make matters worse, I think about all the people I met while abroad.  Through choir, work, and travel, I was fortunate enough to meet some incredible people.  Now, the only thing that holds us together is the black hole of acquaintances that is Facebook.  It's just so odd to know that I think about these people almost everyday when I miss England, yet they probably see me on their newsfeed and wonder how we know each other.  In a way, that sort of breaks my heart, but it's a harsh reality.  My life has changed, and their lives continue on as if I was never there.

    I know this post may seen a little depressing, but what can you expect when you go from endless adventures to fighting to get out of bed?  Please don't take this entry to be whiny.  I wouldn't trade this semester for anything and I am ecstatic to be back with my friends and family.  I just have a lot of thoughts about my future to go along with that.  And can you really blame me with only a year of school left?  I wonder if my fellow study abroad classmates feel the same way. Maybe it's time for a little reunion. 

Cheers,

Janelle

P.S. Soon, I will be compiling all my restaurant, shopping, and travel tips, but all this needed to be lifted off my chest first.

So long, England

   In 6 hours I will be on a flight back to the U.S., and to be honest I don't really know how to feel about that.  This past week and a half have been both a struggle and so much fun.  Sure I was cooped up in a hospital for four days, but I've also done some amazing sight seeing with my parents and family friends.  I think this has given me a little different perspective of England because I've been able to see things that not many other study abroad students get too.  We walked about Cambridge for a day, went into Lavenham, and have explored other Medieval villages around the Swindon area.  Although, I'm still regaining strength and get tired easily, I've really enjoyed seeing the more quaint side to England.  It's nice to be able to see some sheep, and swans close up too, or go for walks along footpaths in the English countryside.
   It's not just the experiences I will miss, but the people as well. Between the choir, my work, and all the trips, I have met some pretty incredible people.  My only hope is that we will stay in contact and one day meet again in the future.  It breaks my heart a little knowing that there is a huge chance that I will never see any of these people ever again.  Hopefully Facebook can bridge that gap a bit.
   It's all just odd because I feel like this is totally separate from my study abroad experience, even though I am still in the same country.  I no longer am a student, nor holding an internship, or living with my classmates.  I am now totally a tourist.  It seems the transition between student to tourist is just an odd blur in which neither stage ended nor began, they just are there.  They may not make much sense but it denies me the feeling of finality.  I know I am leaving England today, hopefully not forever, but for probably a long time, and it just hasn't hit me yet.  I keep telling myself that when I get home, I will probably shut down in full on depressed mode, but I wonder if that will even happen.  I mentioned in an earlier post that I am not a sentimental person, so I half expect to just wander around all summer in this half indifferent attitude that I don't really know what think about.  I guess time will only tell what my attitude will be this summer.
    I will desperately miss England.  Sure, in America, you can go to the grocery store at 3 o'clock in the morning, but I will miss this different lifestyle.  People ask me why I like England so much, and I can never quite put my thumb on it. Is is the constant tea drinking? The way cursing is accepted in everyday conversation? Or how walking from one place to another is widely accepted?  It could be a mixture of all these things, or it could just be the atmosphere I love so much.  Whatever the reason, I cannot wait to return, hopefully next time it will be indefinitely.  I have this long term plan in my head of getting a company to sponsor me so I can move over here for good, but God knows if that will ever pan out.
   My concern now is to get back to the states and try so hard not to get knocked off my feet from reverse culture shock.  I'm thinking it will be harder than I expect.  I've got a glorious scrapbook project waiting for me when I get back to keepsake all my London/England/Europe memories, so hopefully that will keep me sane.  If not, my friends will just have to deal with me signing my emails with "cheers", describing food as "gorgeous", and me drinking Pimm's or any other English alcohol every time we go out.  I'm not trying to be one of those annoying people that are pretending to be english, I'm just bring back old habits from my 8-year-old self (expect for the drinking part).  If it keeps me sane for my last year of college, I see nothing wrong with it.
    So, for now, goodbye England.  I will miss your gloomy rains, your divine countrysides, your rich history, and your quirky people.  My love for you will only make me work harder to return, so you have not seen the last of me, my dear England.


Cheers,

Janelle


P.S. This is not my last blog post, for I plan on compiling a list of restaurants, shops, and travel tips from the last few months in my next post. So don't disappear from me yet!

I heart the NHS

Wow, do I have a lot to catch you lot up on.  The Wednesday after the concert, my parents met up with me so we could do some traveling around London.  Still, I was feeling right awful and sick, but being my last week of work I sucked it up and tried to be the best hostess I could be to my parents. Let me give you a quick little run down of all the happy events that ensued before disaster struck:

• Parents arrived on Wednesday and we had a lovely dinner and walk around Regents Park and Camden.  I've really missed them over the course of my study and I was so happy to see them, even if they can be very loud American tourists.  
• Thursday was our last class with our British Culture professor and it was sad to say goodbye to him.  He's been a really great professor throughout the term and I've been fortunate enough to learn some very interesting things about British Culture that I never thought I would.  It was such an enjoyable class and I will truly miss it when I start taking classes again at Mizzou.
• Thursday, my parents and I did more walking, this time around Hyde Park.  Eventually we wandered off to the Tower of London.  Talk about a fascinating place.  You'll have to excuse me for not having a plethora of facts to share, but this happened over a week ago and there have been other things that have distracted me, but I'll get to that later...
• Thursday night, I took my parents to see "Once: The Musical".  If you haven't seen the movie, go see that first, but the musical was also fantastic.  It's such a simple underrated little story with incredible music.  There is something about simple Irish folk music that is just so emotional and pure.  Before the show and during intermission, they had an open bar on stage that the audience members could come an purchase a drink.  Since the ticket sales aren't doing so well, we ended up getting upgraded for seats and went from the top tier very back all the way to about 20 rows back in the stalls.  They were probably £65 tickets.  Wins all around!
• Friday was my last day at work.  Of course it was stressful since I was passing off all my work and we were trying to get the website finished for the end of the day.  Luckily we got everything done by the time my parents got in to have a glass of champagne and meet everyone I have been working with.  If you ever need a boost, just leave your job and have a little party.  You will be showered with more compliments than you know what to do with.  Anyways, it was lovely to have everyone meet each other.  Afterward, my parents went to dinner and I left with my coworkers to go grab a drink.  It was all really bittersweet because even though this was not my ideal position, I still grew very fond of my colleagues.  It was sad to say good bye to everyone and I'm pretty sure my supervisor started to cry as she left the tube. I also feel bad because I'm not  the most sentimental individual so I very rarely show emotions at the time.  I think this often makes people believe that I am cold and unfeeling.  This is not the case, as I have full intentions on returning home and wrapping myself in a burrito blanket and crying about how much I miss England.  
• Saturday, my parents and I went to Hampton Court Palace and had a grand time trying not to get caught outside in the rain.  To be quite honest it was down right fascinating to a history buff like myself.

So through all this, I was fighting off body aches, fevers, and infection. Saturday night, I had had enough and took myself to the A&E for antibiotics.  The doctor told me that if I began spiking fevers again, I needed to take myself to the hospital. Still, on Sunday, we dragged ourselves from our hotel in London to Heathrow to pick up the car and then off to Saxmundham to visit our family friends again.  Well, it only took until about 10 o'clock at night for the body shakes and fevers to start again and off to Ipswitch Hospital we went.  It was here that I stayed for four days.  Apparently my heart rate was high while my blood pressure was low, and the levels in my blood were all over the place.  THIS is NOT where I wanted to spend my English vacation time.  To make matters worse, I was supposed to leave the country before my Visa expires and come back after it expires to catch our flight home.  Well, in order to be dismissed from the hospital, we had to promise not to do any extensive traveling, so the Ireland trip got cancelled and now I'm technically in the country illegally.  We have every intention to leave by the 8th of May, but who knows what kind of trouble this will cause at border control when we come home.  

ANYWAYS, it's been quite a thrilling, inconvenient experience.  I never want to spend that much time in a hospital ever again.  I feel like I have actually lost muscle mass in my legs from lying in bed all day for four days.  We've tried to do some touring in the surrounding areas and my body just can't handle it.  I can NOT believe that four days in a bed could make me so out of sorts with my body. I feel like such a fat lard that can barely walk.  It's quite pathetic actually.

So that has been the reason for my absence.  It's been 50 shades of not fun.  

Moral of the story: Go to the hospital when you start to get sick. And take care of yourself to begin with, kids. You'll be better off. Also, I love the NHS. 

Cheers,

Janelle 

Marathons, Concerts, and Illness

          I apologize for my absence.  So many exciting things have happened this past week that I was so excited to sit down and blog about each and every one of them.  Sadly, for the third time this term, I got really sick, and every time I went to extensively type on my laptop, I would become nauseous and have to give up.  Finally, I am feeling much better and I will be able to accurately and enthusiastically tell everyone about my FANTASTIC weekend.

         Last Saturday, my flatmates and I decided to have a dinner together to celebrate only having a week left in the program.  At that moment, I don't think it was really hitting that I will be leaving London incredibly soon.  To be honest, I don't think it will hit me until I am back home.  Than the water works will fall into a pathetic melt down of forever depression.  Anyways, we wanted Mexican and ended up getting burritos from the Wahaca Street Van.  This little London chain was probably the best burrito I have ever experienced in my entire life.  To make it even better, we ate on a little bench right on the South Bank and just chatted about our wonderful time in London.  As a final gift for my flatmates, I made a little card with a caricature of each of the girls.  I don't like to brag but as far as my somewhat Illustrator skills go, I think I nailed all of us.  Tower Bridge doesn't look to shabby either. After we ate, we ended up grabbing dessert at a little Italian place and whole night just ended up being a pleasant experience. We ended up getting back to our flat fairly early because the all four of us were set to be volunteers at the London Marathon.

         Now, THAT was an experience in itself.  Melissa works for Age UK, one of the marathon sponsors, she convinced us all to sign up as volunteers.  I signed up to be a volunteer photographer so I packed up my camera, telephoto lens and marched myself all the way to mile seven at Greenwich at 7 in the morning.  We had to wait a good while until any photographer opportunities really came about, but it was lovely and warm so no problems.  The first group of runners were the elite women followed by wheelchair men and women, and then the elite men.  Seeing all these elite athletes was an absolutely incredible experience.  You see people accomplish extraordinary things during the Olympics, but nothing compares to seeing it in person.  I ended up getting a decent photo of Mo Farah, and two really awesome photos of Richard Whitehead.  If seeing the elite athletes wasn't enough, it was amazing to see other runners, who are possibly in their first marathon, doing so well.  By mile seven, people weren't looking too tired so there were so many cheerful faces that seemed so pleased that they were being cheered on the entire race.  It honestly made me want to run a marathon.  I may not do it for a very long time, but one day, I will run a marathon.  The whole thing was very empowering and I found myself just smiling the entire time from such a positive atmosphere

Mo Farah in sunglasses

Richard Whitehead

          To add to all the emotions of the day, I was able to spot many runners where small black ribbons on their vests for Boston.  I think that is why the day felt so amazing; because it was a huge tribute to the Boston Marathon.  There was moment of silence before the race and runners were asked to finish with their hand over their heart.  I know I wasn't a runner, or that I was neither located at the start nor the finish, but it was still incredible to be apart of something that brought such a large group of different people together.  It was truly inspiring and that is another reason I hope to run a marathon sometime in my life.

          Right on cue, when I have a laundry of lists of exciting events to participate in, I began to feel myself getting sick.  Still, I trudged on because I am a brave soul. I went to work and then prepared myself for the Phoenix concert.  I was feeling so terrible that I thought I would go to the concert, stay for only two songs to get my money's worth and then bolt home to writhe in pain in my bed.  Luckily, I was seeing Phoenix and as soon as they started I was instantly glued to my spot in the crowd.  Thomas Mars is just an amazing performer and their shows are always spectacular.  I was glad that the last song of the encore, he moved to the back of the standing pit and CLIMBED up into the balcony to sing for a bit.  He then proceeded to climb back down and crowd surf himself back to the stage.  When I saw them in 2010, I was able to get a hold of his shoe for a bit, but unfortunately this time around, I didn't get a chance to touch him at all.  Oh well, it was good enough concert to make me forget momentarily that I was sick, so I would say it was a £30 well spent.  This concert may have not been as emotionally draining as Of Monsters and Men but still, GOD can Phoenix put on a good concert.   

      Again, all these concerts are just making me overjoyed that I will be seeing Marina and the Diamonds in St. Louis only a week after I get back to the states.  Live music is da best.

Cheers,

Janelle

Accomplishing very little

Well another week has come and gone and I am only eight days away from being done with my program and 20 days away from leaving Europe altogether.  Once again, this week there was not one large event that really deserves being focused on, but rather a plethora of random lovely events. Since coming to London, I have had a bucket list of things I want to see before I leave.  Upon arrival, I gracefully accepted that I was not going to be able to accomplish all the things I wanted to.  Between work and school, it just was not possible.  I feel like I am going to sleep for a week when I get home because our lives are just exhausting.  We are holding down a 20-hour a week internship that is incredibly stressful.  Also, we are taking classes, doing homework, all while trying to take every advantage to travel while here.  Our lives are just non-stop.  With all that said, finding time to tick off every thing on the list is just not impossible.

            I have fully accepted this because looking back at my time I see that I have had some very non-touristy experiences that no other study abroad student will probably ever experience.  I mean I was on Welsh television in a national choir competition.  I also got to go to the Terrance Higgins Trust Auction and met Pattie Boyd.  I’m fortunate that this week has given me more non-touristy opportunities.

            On Friday, I went with Nicole and her work friends to this band’s private gig.  It ended up being at someone’s house in east London and was actually a really cool event.  We had to pay to get in but the drummer of the band was making everyone cocktails and it was just overall a good time to meet some Londoners.  The band that played was called Teddy and they were pretty damn awesome.  In a way they were quintessentially British.  I can’t put a finger on why I think that, but they were and it was just a wonderful little concert.  We didn’t stay long after the concert because we wanted to catch the last tube home, but like I said before, it was so much fun to just hang out with Londoners. 

            On Tuesday, I got an email from Roadhouse saying that since no one claimed the last first prize at rockeoke, they were going to do a roll over night where the first prize would be a £200 bar tab rather than £100.  This finally gave me incentive to compete again.  This time, I decided to stay with a rock song and sang “Smells Like Teen Spirit” by Nirvana.  I was not near as nervous this time around since I sort of had a feeling of what it was like to sing on that stage.  I don’t mean to brag…but I rocked it.  Again, people came up to me and said I was really good.  Nicole and I waited for the results and in the mean time we found some very charismatic Northern Irish men to buy us drinks.  Winners were announced around 11:30.  Second place went to this fabulous girl who sang “Black Velvet”.  Next, they said they couldn’t decide between two people who should win first place, so they split the mega £200 prize into two £100 bar tabs.  Well…THEY CALLED MY NAME.  Yes, I won a £100 bar tab to Roadhouse and at that time only had Nicole to share it with.  We decided it would be smarter to just save it for the weekend when we had more friends to share the tab with.  Hopefully that pans out for the weekend. 

Here is the link to my performance. On stage, I felt very confident and like I sang very well but after watching this video....ehhhhhh not so much.  I'll let you be the judge. This is a good time to point out to those who do not know me, that I am very awkward human being...so yeah.

Roadhouse Rockaoke Video

            
I just feel so fortunate today because who else has the opportunity to participate and WIN a singing competition.  This whole Roadhouse thing also made me really sad because the girl in charge of Rockeoke told me that on June 3^rd, Roadhouse was hosting an “allstar” competition, for all the past winners.  It made me so sad to tell her that I wouldn’t be in the country at that time.  She just smiled and told me that if anything changed just to email her and let her know.  I don’t think it has really hit me yet just how sad I will be to leave.  I miss my friends and family so much that I am trying to focus on that rather than leaving.  I just know once my parents get here, it will be harder to leave. 

            I have a feeling that next week, it will hit me hard and you will catch me bawling on the tube. 

            Anyways, I am really excited for this weekend because I plan on doing some more shopping and souvenir searching.  Plus, on Sunday, I am volunteering as a photographer for the London Marathon.  Once again, it will be a small event that gives me a different way of experiencing London than other students. 

            Also, I’ve posted some photos from my class tour at Highgate Cemetery in North London.  It was a really cool history lesson hearing about how it all came about, plus our guide included some really interesting stories about a few of the people buried there.  I know it may sound morbid to take a day trip to a cemetery but honestly, I thought it was fascinating… and again, something normal tourists wouldn’t do. 

Cheers,

Janelle

p.s. Is everyone in the U.S. like…okay? Because between West, Texas, floods in Iowa, tornados in Missouri, and the endless crazy train pouring out of Boston, I feel like the world in America is coming to an end.  I’m kind of glad to be watching from a safe distance, but if everything could just work itself out in the next few weeks before I come back, that would be great.

Stay safe everyone, it’s looking like a hot mess of a situation.  

Update from London Town

        Unfortunately, there hasn’t been one large event to blog about since Scotland, but for the past two weeks I have been able to experience a string of different events that end up quite exciting.  Actually that's a lie.  After coming back from London, my life sort of hit a lull.  With only three weeks left in Europe, I can definitely see how this would happen.  Having an adventure every day, or even every week is virtually impossible.  Still, I tend to manage, plus it was kind of nice having a week with very little excitement.  I kind of like not having a lot going on because it gives me the chance to enjoy London in a totally different way.  I've been on a lot of walks lately.  Last Tuesday I decided to walk the 5 miles from the CAPA center back to my Camden flat.  Yes, I had to walk through some pretty boring areas, but I still got to stroll through half of Hyde Park and a portion of Regent's Park that I don't get to see very often.  It's so odd to me that London is just this MASSIVE city, yet, if you want to put forth the effort, you can really walk quite a lot of it.  It may take you a few hours but in the end it's totally worth it.  

   After a week of uneventfulness, I decided to actually mix it up a bit.  I hate being idle and that's what is was starting to feel like.  I head to Leicester Square because I had the idea of buying tickets to see Once the Musical.  Instead, I walked by the Prince of Wales Theater where The Book of Mormon was playing, and say people queuing for the lottery drawing.  Being a Tuesday night, I decided to join in and try my luck.  Pretty much what happens is two and half hours before the show, people can fill out a card and check for one ticket or two and then they are entered into a drawing for front row £20 tickets to that night's performance.  I was standing in the line about to fill out my card when the next to me asked if I was filling it out for one ticket.  I said yes, and he suggested that we both put down two tickets in order to double our chances.  After about 150 people showed up, it seemed that there was no prayer in either of our names being called.  When the guy drew each card he announced where each winner was from.  I held my breath when he announced the next winner was from the Netherlands, and low and behold my wonderful Dutch friend had won, and I was set to see The Book of Mormon, front row, or £20. Since this was only my first try in the lottery, and this was his second, I would like to credit myself for some of the luck he had that night.

      Anyway, The Book of Mormon was AMAZING!  In it's nature, it had the opportunity to get really dark and sad really fast, but thanks to Trey Parker, everything stayed light and positive. And by positive, I also mean hugely offensive to just about every demographic, but especially the Mormons.  I still had a marvelous time laughing until I cried.  It was odd though, seeing such and American musical in the UK.  I just don't think they appreciated the line, "I believe that the Garden of Eden was in Jackson County, Missouri!" as much as I did.  No matter, everyone was roaring the entire night.  If you are not easily offended, make an effort to see the show.  The music is catchy and funny, and it's ridiculousness is actually incredibly unique.  Despite me fears, I did not feel like I was watching a South Park episode the whole time.

     That was the only thing really worth talking about, everything else has been pretty low key. With the end of the semester approaching, we are all worried about final projects and wrapping up work.  I'm in Starbuck's trying to do research for my final paper, but who am I kidding?  It probably won't get done until the night before.  I had a running list of advice, and UK comments I wanted to put in this post but of course my mind is drawing a blank.  My hope is for one of my next posts, putting an entire list of restaurants, shops, and general attractions that are worth seeing in London, in my own opinion.  I also want to compile all my travel tips and findings.  Hopefully my mind won't be drawing a blank then.

     In the mean time, I FINALLY was able to get Nicole to send me the video from my performance at Roadhouse.  Due to the long music break in the center, she took it in two videos.  It was really hard to hear myself on stage, so I feel like I'm screaming, so don't make fun of me too much. And here is my London stage debut and well....finale as well....

I pray these videos actually work....

Scottish Holiday

Never have I been a believer in love at first site.  It's such a cliché and I've never had a good experience with anyone or anything that I felt a deep affection for upon first glance.  Well, after laying my eyes on Edinburgh for the first time, I'll have to reconsider that aspect of my belief system.

I left London at 10:30 Thursday night via bus, causing me to get to Edinburgh just before 7:00 in the morning.  After nine hours on an uncomfortable bus, you can imagine I was not in the best of spirits.  My entire body ached and I was absolutely exhausted from the journey, but that struggle of journey became worthwhile when I arrived in Edinburgh.  Any city is just breathtaking right after sunrise, before life really begins, but Edinburgh was just well.... enchanting.  I walked about a mile down Prince's St from the bus station to my hostel and somewhere in my brain and in my heart it just clicked.  I love this city. 

           

As much I wanted to explore, the reality of the situation was that I barely slept on the bus and my body was ready to go into a coma of exhaustion.  Luckily, no one was in my bed at the hostel, so I was able to check into my room and put my stuff up in the locker near my bed.  I should have prefaced all this by explaining a bit my travel complications. Technically, I was coming to Scotland with two of my flatmates, Nicole and Elyse.  Due to credit card complications, I held off my booking until later, which resulted in me having to get a different bus and hostel. With Easter weekend it should come to no surprise that the only thing I could book for three consecutives nights was a 38-bed mixed room. 

It was the first time that I really felt like I was staying in a hostel, rather than a budget hotel surrounded by people my same age.  As terrifying as it sounds, I never felt unsafe or threatened the entire time I was there.  You don’t even spend a lot of the time in the room anyways, so as long as you’ve got a locker to keep important things locked up, it’s all fine and dandy.  And like I said, the only time I was ever in the room was to sleep, as it should be. 

So that was the hostel.  I would have more to talk about, but due to the exhaustion at the end of the days, I never stayed awake to try to meet people.  There was just no energy left for that. 

Now, back to the magic of Scotland!  My friends arrived a little later than I did and decided to head to a museum.  I was more interested in finding some good shopping, so we decided to just meet at Edinburgh Castle at 2pm.  I eventually need to make a list of all the places I would recommend if you are in any of these places I visit because I stumbled across some FANTASTIC things.  For those who do not know me, I love vintage shopping.  Most of my wardrobe comes from the magically world of thrift stores.  I actually still wear a sweater than I bought for an ugly Christmas sweater party four months ago.  As I was walking down Grassmarket Rd in the Edinburgh Old Town, I hit the mother load of consignment shopping.  The store is called Armstrong’s and when you first walk in, you think it is a clever little shop filled with second hand traditional Scottish wear as well as other pricier vintage finds (cocktail dresses, bridal gowns, etc.) As you walk farther, you see a doorway leading to a fitting room, and two HUGE rooms of vintage clothing.  One is men’s and the other is women’s.  Now, when I say vintage I feel everyone imagines Goodwill: just a store for people to dump old clothes.  Although this store does accept donations in that sense, they separate the gems from the crap.  In the women’s room they I had a WALL of cashmere and wool sweaters.  You still have to be careful and read labels.  Just because it’s 100% wool and in a Scottish vintage shop, does not mean it is made in Scotland.  After browsing this section I settled on a grey cashmere crew neck sweater that is 100% made in Scotland.  Seriously this sweater is the softest textile I have ever placed on my body.  I could have spent hours in this shop but alas I needed to meet my friends at the castle so my time had to be cut short.

The castle was very cool, but afterward we were all so tired from our bus journeys that we decided it would be wise to just go to bed early.  We had to wake up early anyways to take our day trip to the highlands.

I could talk hours on end about the highlands, so I will try to condense this as much as possible before I start rambling.  The highlands of Scotland are incredible. I keep looking back at the photos and I swear we are standing in front of a green screen the whole time.  Its nature at it’s finest.  I am just dreaming and planning the day that I can come back to Scotland and just camp and hike this area for weeks on end.  Our tour guide was really cool and on the way to Loch Ness, we stopped at some very scenic and historic locations for photo opportunities.  We drove by the William Wallace Monument and the castle that was used in “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” and for most of the series 1 filming of “Game of Thrones”.  We also stopped to take photos at the site of the Glencoe Massacre and where a scene from “Skyfall” was filmed.  From all the information that our tour guide was throwing at us, I came from one major conclusion about Scotland: You people are nuts.  Of all the nations in Great Britain, Scotland gets the prize for being the most rugged and rough.  I mean the fact that people look to William Wallace as a hero after learning all the things he did, baffles me.  Fun note: most of “Braveheart” is actually filmed in Ireland because the Scottish government wouldn’t let Mel Gibson do everything he wanted for free.  Also, only about 95% of the movie is historically accurate, starting with the fact that William Wallace was not from the highlands, therefore, he would never have worn a kilt. Way to go, screwing history, Mel. 

We eventually got to Loch Ness where Nicole, Elyse and I took an hour-long cruise on the lake.  It was very relaxing to just be outside looking at some of Scotland’s most beautiful landscapes.  We eventually made our way to the bar inside on the lower level just in time to listen to one of the crew members give a spiel on the Loch Ness Monster.  Now, be as skeptical as you want, but I have full belief that there is something large and mysterious in the waters of Loch Ness.  Now whether it is actually a monster has yet to be seen, but there is definitely something down there.  The crewmember said that they have seen a number of unnaturally sized readings on their radars throughout the years, and there have been 23 sightings of things that no crewmember can explain.  They always put into consideration things like floating sticks and wakes that hit hidden rocks under the water, but still there are things they can’t explain. And that is all I need know that some kind of Nessy exists in those waters.  So there’s my opinion on that.

Now, this past Sunday was Easter Sunday, so as the good Catholic I am, I got myself to church.  Just like most Easter masses, the cathedral was packed so my friends and I weren’t even able to sit together.  As for the mass, it was long, dull and boring, BUT the St Mary’s Cathedral was a STUNNING church.  It is built in the old style with paintings and colourful statues, so it was definitely worth going.  Afterwards we grabbed so nice pub food for lunch and opened the Kinder Eggs I bought for us to celebrate Easter.  Our plan was to walk up Holyrood Park and see Arthur’s Seat, but due to time constraints and the fact that were in no way prepared to actually hike.  We cut our walk short after finding a decent view for some photo opportunities. 

This trip had many highlights, so I’m glad to announce we ended on one as well.  Nicole and Elyse had a bus to catch around 9pm so we wanted to get an early dinner together.  We ended up spending about 3 hours at the Elephant House, which is notoriously the same place JK Rowling began writing the Harry Potter series.  The drinks were warm and lovely and the food was amazing, but never underestimate how pleasant it can be to just sit and chat with friends at a café while traveling.  The café had a wonderful view of Edinburgh Castle, so the entire atmosphere was like the city itself: enchanting. 

The more I think about it, the more I fall in love with Edinburgh, but I’m not sure if it’s a city I would like to live in.  After walking back to my hostel at night, the moon would hang over the castle and the entire city felt very eerie.  It almost had the constant feeling of Halloween.  Here it was, Easter Sunday, and I was just waiting for ghosts to start singing like it’s a Tim Burton film.  It is a very safe feeling city.  I never felt threatened or like I would be attacked, but I cannot even describe how spooky it was to look up at the castle from Prince’s Street and feel a shudder run down your spine.  Maybe the entire city is haunted…. Wouldn’t surprise me being in Scotland.

I know that should be the end of my Scottish adventures but we really ended the Easter weekend with one more Scottish reference.  Last night, my flatmates, Elyse, Melissa and I went to see Macbeth at Trafalgar Studio in London.  What makes this even better? James McAvoy was in it!  What better way to end our Scottish weekend than to see the brilliant Scottish McAvoy play the devilish Scotsman, Macbeth?  I can think of no better way.  McAvoy was incredible as was the entire cast.  I’d love to give a review of this show, but I feel like I am not enough of a Shakespeare expert to give it justice or proper critique.  I will say that it was terrifying and gritty and unlike any other Shakespeare production I have ever seen.  It just proves my point again that those Scotsmen are nuts.

So that was Easter weekend, I hope everyone else also had a pleasant time whether you got the bank holiday or not.

Cheers,

Janelle